*sniff*sniff*

Do you smell that?

Hard to miss the smell of decay..lol :D

Moving to Friendster Blog since i get to log into that the most often..Blogdrives always lagging on my comp so i never bother accessing it much.New year,new life ahead,new blog is due!

Visit my blog & add me on friendster if u actually do want to keep track of my unadulterated brightside pessimism & i promise you lots of self-compromising reflections and daily juicy tidbits PLUS lots of pictures (which is what most people do nehow,look at the colorful pictures and dont read?)

CLICK LINK! 2007 blog

***BRIS NEW BLOGGIE***

Regardless,i still do visit this blog. Lots of memories here for me. Lots of moments i decided to keep. Favourite moments :) heartbreakingly so.Time to move out and start afresh.Hope u visit!

xoxo for the last time here

bRi

Why Teens Are Stupid : They Think They Can Die from Heartbreak

ok..so it finally sinks in..mammoth sized balls of tissue litter the bed and gal pals,guy bashing sessions,love movies & tubs of ice cream later u finally decide to put an end to insanity.Thats so high school isnt it? So instead of being an emo walking trainwreck and withdrawing heres a foolproof plan for the heartbroken!

1)Mental Conditioning.Refrain from going over every last detail of the past.UP AND OUT BABY! Think of the end as the beginning of something new.Something FABULOUS.Think 'Young,single,smart and available if it pleases me to be so'.Repeat whenever needed.

2)Making Room.Dont hide all his belongings/things dat remind u of him in a corner coz it 'too hard to look at'.BURN EM! You dont want all that junk cluttering your new tick-free-life so its past due for flaming.The environment understands.

3)Keep busy.All those things u kept putting off while u were together.DO IT.You have no one to answer to anymore.Dont jsut get used to it,USE it.

4)Indulge.Buy yourself something nice,get a haircut,nails done,something just for YOU.

5)Goin a gym/Workout.All that extra endorphins from exc will do you gooood! You're body will be a lean-mean-man-eating machine b4 u noe it.Besides,imagine all the likewise male counterparts u will meet there ;) 

6)Get a Book. No,really.Instead of lying awake at night (which is the most unavoidable time for nostalgia) ,R-E-A-D-goddammit! A good books is what a man can never be.Mind boggling,captivating and satisfying.Keep u occupied till u doze off into deep sleep

7)Say No to Self Pity. So what if he says hes feeling guilty.ITS NOT YOUR FAULT.As much as perfectionist like to play the blame game on their egos DONT! Things happen.Im not asking you to think happy thoughts and just be ok when evidently youre not but dont beat yourself up over nothing.'Nothing?!!' you cry? 3 months from now you're gonna be agreeing with me

8)Vent.Dont keep it locked inside(my bad habit).Vent it out! If that means writting gory literature,talking with friends,throwing things around,making plushie voodoo dolls to stab in the name of laughs.DO IT.Anything that tickles your fancy lest its born from self destructive desire i.e getting totally wasted,one night stands DONT COUNT.The point of venting is so u can get it out of your system,not ruin it.

9)Breathe.Its strange how people can forget the simplest things when they're sad.(i forget that little dark corners arent chairs) Just breathe. Everythings gonna be fine.You're going to be somewhere like OK,only better :)

With that all u need is to PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. Its just a guy you were gonna leave someday anyway. Plenty more to come coz so shrug it off REALLY.Its thats simple. You're FABULOUS.His loss completely.

xoxo

bris-scary-when-shes-breaking-down-isnt-she

-bRi- 

(anyone who has anything to add to this list *hit me back* ya)

music:Let Go (Frou Frou)

Who i want to meet:

nobody..

onli people who either die fast or dont die at all

i feel uncomfortably violated when people look straight at 'me'

so i watch behind my Pride,persuasiveness,occasional make-up,color lenses

why let people see what they cant possibly comprehend?

life not about black & white.theres always grey.im just a cetain shade of it

Nothing in life can outlive transiency.Sometimes things just end.Good as it was or can be it just can never actually Be.I'd like honesty.I'd like something true.Something i can hold on to .I'd like to mean something Real.But its not what bout what i wish for,is it 

**bRi's Non-Work Friendster**

words-of-d-namelessly-liked-more-then-she-should-be-but-not-worth-a-call

poison bri

Friends are like good bras;Close to your heart,hard to find,supportive

Cant say i have many friends.Cant say im not surrounded by tons of people who talk 2 me.Its strange how u can go through life knowing most of the people u r around r merely circumstancial & out of convenience..if u know me remotely u will know im not 1 to hang around girls..dramatic creatures arent they.Honestly,they scare the hell out of me.Big girly cliques were never my thing.I believe Friends are about the quality,not the quantity.Im lucky 2 have the few i know i can talk 2 without the worry what i say will come back & bite me.So please,im not antisocial(as every1 has been calling me lately).Im just at that phase in my life where i dont need 2 be in a room full of people to know what Loneliness feels like.Here's a favourite qoute from quirky tv character Ally Macbeal;

"But the truth is, when I think back of my loneliest moments, there was usually somebody sitting there next to me"

So with that crumb of thought to nibble on,one's fulfilment shouldnt be dependant on anyone else but oneself.To be a fulfilling friend to others u first have to be a fulfilled person.Having that,I can now be alone with some1 i trust knowing that im their favourite 'bra'.Tell me,how many happening parties & go-outs in d world can top that?

B-cup-and-lacy

bRi

im 2-goodbyes & half a heart down

Finality & Closure; Goodbye? Not neccesarily related.So what does,'this is goodbye..' mean,really.Definition would be

An act of parting or leave-taking

okie..so i've got it right so far.So the this-is-goodbye thing went ok till i found the loophole:Time of Abscence.Guess we look for things like that to consolidate ourselves,dont we.So we can wake up in the morning and make looking in the mirror a lil easier.If all fails,the im-just-human phrase should take its course.

If nobody gets what im talking about thats fine.Nobody gets what i talk about unless they have walked in my shoes.Hopelessly hopeful  Size 8 needle heels that is.

Withdrawal syptoms starting already.This week is gonna go downhill fast and i hope no 1 tries to barb and nail-line my fall.Keeping to myself is just how i deal with shock or loss.People say im vicious,heartless..whatever..Im just not one to wear my heart on my sleeve but dat doesnt mean i dont have 1.I dont expect any1 to understand,i just need to read this for myself coz its strange how things u dont mention dont exist.Sins not tragedies right :) im just emo-ing 4 fcuks..ignore me

the worst way of missing some1 is to be lying next to them and knowing you cant have them.You cant have them

goodbyes-just-a-word

bri

elitemodel coverlook 4 day activities been keeping me BUSY..goin straight to hartamas or kl right after classes and having mostly makeup sessions and fittings and shoots (with those looong waits in between) -___- honestly,the modelling life is not something id like to do d rest of my life..like they say,its gd money when ur young but it cant last forever..

got some pics from the Zang Toi fitting but theyre with evonne..as so with the Fara Khan calendar shoots at kid chan studio..fara khan dresses..omfgorgeous! unfortunately being one of the shortest of the 2o girls(believe it) they decided to put me into a transparent mini pullover thingie 4 d calander shoot -________- sad,i know..just glad its over..car modelling and fashion modelling are two whole different worlds..but when they told me to be less pin up? now that was just insulting..im far from pin up,so forgive me for looking sultry when u asked for it

just came back from penang on monday..love penang..good food & hot girls..went back to celebrate my grandmas bday and got to spend a whole day at gurney plaza..came home and got sick..food poisoning apparently..been throwing up and sleeping all wednesday..im highly medicated and hungry but hey,think of all the weight im losing *lmao* not worth it,trust me..

heres a pic from my last last last weekend job at johor

xoxo

bri-in-lala-land

20 pounds of super glue later,we're stuck 4 life baby :)

21st month anni..who still does that? celebrating monthly couple anniversaries..tot it was a high school phase but guess it sticks with u..4 cHen&i the noveltys a little worn off & i think we(more like HE..hmmhmm) stopped making a big deal out of it around the 8th month or so..yet in efforts 2 resusitate our dying love life which is so boring and so dead and with an obviously non existant sex life (i.e were CRAZY bout each other) were now taking turns 2 plan what 2 do each 15th :) Its my turn!

With that,we went 4 a movie (which we almost never do anymore),kaikai a lil bit,he got me a necklace from Forever21 which i didn really notice but after he bought it i realised i loved it,im fickle!i noe!sue me! *smiles* READ: i love it sayang!.We ended up changing dinner plans thou to Souled Out in Hartamas instead of italiannis and 1u..nice place..they've got rocking Strawberry Daquiris that kick TGIF's hands down :D hehe..finished off our night d way we've been finishing off our others..no,unfortunately not d way u're thinking bout :p..had a big fight in d car..tears were shed voices were raised but we're still tgt..thats just how it is 4 us..

hard 4 people to understand..we've always got our pretty facade on i guess u would'nt know then..but u should..coz no matter what people would like to assume,no couples are perfect,no relationships are easy and no one can walk away unhurt fr something thats personal 2 them..thats just how it works

maybe we're no longer on the same playing field

correct me if im wrong

love is pain right?

bris-making-d-words-SMALL-to-tick-u-off *winks*

things u can live with,things u cant live without

busy week with d promise of an even busier 1 ahead
interviews,pageant,assignments drowning me out of sleep..which is great in a way..a theory i coined from Stan,a Frantic-Manics-Mantra :) lovely ring to it huh? people who need do be doing something at all times or risk death by idleness..lol..

work update: got into d palm beach pageant finals..got my budget for a bikini for the hilton shoot (they pay me to shop..woot!),and i got to swim with sharks! no joke..me an evie went for the Aquaria tank model interview where were gonna be dressed as mermaids and tossed into their giant aquarium..mantelrays and tiger shark bites aside,were home free :) got accepted,training starts next week..

strange how everyone can stop to stare when u walk by but u still feel invisible

moving on 2 Love..guess wen your with some1 so long u 4get what life was before d hit..none of us know how to deal with our beloveds shortcomings..but guess wen u love some1 enough it doesnt really matter..theres always something dat makes up for it..hypothetical exp,hes 2 short BUT hes such a sweetie,hes unreliable BUT hes so supportive.etc..end result it has to be at 'excuse equilibrium'..Somehow relationships can run on such balance we create 4 ourselves & its worked 4 me but now im just so tired of it all..excuses made 4 them,apologies written 4 them & mistakes forgiven even b4 they ask 4 forgiveness..its all in d science of selling yourself short..i never understood why smart,pretty,independant girls settle 4 this..i knew so many & i never thought id ever be 1 of them..just walk away,u shout?
tell me how can u walk away from some1 u Love wen u know u mean everything to them?
old flames die hard as qouted from evie
i could never..guess i can be stubborn like that

its 1 thing to live knowing he doesnt want better for himself
but how can u live knowing he doesnt want better for u?

theres-always-room-for-1-more-mistake
bri

What do they mean?

Ever been in a conversation where some1 brings up a situation u can relate 2 & u say ' i so get u!'..but then they look flustered,turn at u and say,'aww..but bri,that'll never happen to a girl like u'..or when ppl say 'a girl like u,....' is it supposed to be a compliment or a social stigma? Would it bother u if ppl let u cut their ques,go out of their way to help u,let u win all the time? u will start to wonder..whats a girl like 'u'?Why do they make us different

Just a thought

Anyhow,was a busy week..back in college and loving it..it gives my otherwise topsy turvy life structure..i fantasize about structure..bite me :) bsides assignment deadlines and all life pretty good..got the final callback for the Elite Model Coverlook 2006 contest,which i wasnt really hyped about,but went for anyway since i already got shortlisted out of 2oo ppl..cant blif i got it..walked in so unprepared wearing friggin wedges when dey asked me to catwalk (omfg!) and my random photo shot was fugly!! all the other girls printed their glossy portfolio pics -_- (lesson learnt : Be prepared). When dey anounced i got it over so many older,more experienced girls i cant say i wasnt suprised..top 2o over hundreds..feel undeserving for my rather sloppy interview effort..will up my game during the day itself to make up for it..always do *smiles*

had the prelims for another pageant too..not too worried bout those..seem to get into semifinals easily and finals too..its practically guarenteed as long as ur tall,lookable and have 'the walk'..small pageants are like this i guess..im still new in this pageant line (yes,some girls actually use this as a profession!) so,thats just my opinion :) pageants arent really my thing..prefer actual event work and photoshoots but hey,its a good experience and who am i to turn that down

so that sums up my week along with yumcha sessions,the Speech class Fairytale presentation goin wonderfully well (thanks to groupmates,jess,ting,hugo & narv :D),lepaking,bumming at home wif chen and being as perky as ever

logging off

bri-the-banana-bunny

Dont hate..Appreciate

ooohh goodie goodie..FAN MAIL! nope..not my normal type i used to get in my locker/desk/bag neither the ones that spam my friendsters by the droves..the real she-bang! tagboard dissing! *shurudders with amusement* this is girlie crack at its best..

lets start off  from Christina :) hey babes,feeling bored? u must be..lets qoute 'i do not know her but i heard alot about her'..hmm..rule one of claiming something..dont discredit yourself after making a statement okie huns..u noe my exes? great..i know em BETTER..dun be so easily talked into things u noe nothing about (i dun remember u being in my relationship) u cant be that gullible right..unless ur into them then really..theyre all yours..dun think u would like some random girl bad mouthing u when she hears sourpuss comments from your exes,no? no offence taken,girl..

Second comeback for Jo's comments..im sorry that i onslaught u and ur friends with my 'runway dressing' or whatever u call it..thats my everyday clothes! plus i usually have things to do an places to go after college so if u really have a problem with my dressing STOP STARING and get on with ur lives..i could wear rags and still look like i do so get over it..

although i dun appreciate all the unconstructive critism on my tagboard i must admit it amuses me..all the extra endorphins u guys are pumping me on make me less likely to age so really..people like u are making me beautiful :)

lots of lurve from the girl who doesnt need world validation and is too classy to bitch back (u must admit im taking this really well) ;p

-bRi-